Calico Cat (Photo credit: Danielle Bauer)
Calico — You went away just like you appeared, out of no where, you walked into my life.
Calico cat you are so gentle, warm not taking sides, no separation, you were just who you were and never apologetic, you knew what you wanted , you knew who needed that love touch, walking through my front door of my home. Thank you Calico cat. As I lay your lifeless sweet body to rest you will always be in my heart for love sits on top of darkness and death. Your unconditional love was everywhere, my heart was ripe for your love to enter that day. You brought softness in the way I want to speak (soft with myself) and when confronted by others of different colors like a calico cat, to also be soft. You displayed all of your colors well, black white with maize in gods’ diversity. Loving, allowing yourself to be held in your last breathing moments cradled in my arms rocking ourselves in our rocking chair together, you were showing me to embrace life and death as we joined together in our sacred space, But death does not steal love. You are now cold and this mystery is: you still live warmly in my heart, you walked in to me and walked out. I am grateful for that walk my way. Love moves without an agenda. It just moves because that is its nature- to move. What you left I get it, it is all about life’ teaching, I get the big picture, your cats persistence taught me to receive love and healing no matter what form it comes in. Although your form is gone, placing you underneath my newly planted Bartlett pear tree, Mother Earth welcomes you, with help in growing her pears for our enjoyment .You have returned to where you came , thanks for making my home one of your stopping off places.
Living beyond the city limits I see unwanted dogs being dumped out weekly. Some find their way to my home. When a large, black and white spotted pup found his way to my door I took up with him right away. His eyes were bright and gentle and his ears perked quickly at the sound of a kind voice. Funny, I had just bought a black and white polka dot purse, so like my polka dot purse, I named him Polka Dot. He loved and was loved. My false, soap opera ego was disarmed by Love masquerading as a canine in a polka dot suit.
One day about 5 months later he came up on the porch sick, very sick. I felt totally helpless and fearful because his breathing was so labored. I gently spoke to him and stroked him with my loving hands. He could not breathe and then suddenly he just seemed to surrender the struggle. He rose, turned and slowly walked down the steps and headed for the corner of the house that leads to the backyard. As he reached the corner he paused, turned around to look back at me and then walked on as if he knew where he was inevitably bound. Around the corner, he laid his body down and died. What pulled my heart strings was that I just knew he was saying bye to me with love and gratitude. I can still see his sweet, gentle brown eyes as he turned back to look on his way out of this world.
Love sometime seems to be hidden; but where can it go? Its fragrance lingers to soften our hearts. Love remains. That’s exactly what Polka Dot brought into my life – yes, love embodied in a 4-legged canine earthly body. Thank you, sweet Polka Dot for your visit and for reminding me of what really counts in my life.
Three years ago, I was transported to the state of Arkansas to live in nature and the natural state. Last April, as I was driving through the early rush of Nature’s spring time with two other friends, a giant naked tree standing to my left caught my eye. It had enormous branches reaching out from the fat trunk and it seem to be pointing in every direction. In total silence, it was reaching out everywhere—around–up–down–side ways. This momentary glimpse opened me to my New World. In silence, I saw my self naked—open to everything.
I am here now–standing as that tree–naked within. I am standing unclothed in my 83 year-old body! No past to mock me, accuse me, teach me. I am free in this new world, hearing and feeling in silence. This is the new start that I have longed for–to be able to stand with no opposites or duality–no two, just ONE standing. In silence NAKED, letting it all hang out in total innocence, allowing myself to be possessed by Nature’s NAKED TREE. I can call it surrender, to a new space that I cannot control or a jumping off place. I can sprout green leaves to share without an agenda, letting others come and rest in leafy branches without trying to fix them; just being NOTHING–naked in love, arms reaching, embracing, being who I AM.