Exploring the transformative power of love

Why Men Love Bitches.

Before you react negatively to that title, allow me to tell you how I interpret that word, because I’ve thought about it a great deal and I’m pleased to report that it no longer evokes the negative charge that it’s held for me for most of my life.

Just the other day, a man who’s quite close to me called me by that word, and I think I can safely say that he thought he was insulting me or criticizing me. Imagine his shock when I reacted by saying, “Thank you! What a revelation!”

He didn’t quite know what to make of it — but I sure did, because, now that I’ve learned to love myself and now that I’ve become a thinker on my own, the way I react to being called a bitch is not too serious anymore, it’s laced with a sense of humor, rather than a negative sensitivity.

To me, a bitch is not someone who has an abrasive disposition, not the proverbial “bitch on wheels” like the one Joan Collins portrayed on Dynasty. The woman I speak of doesn’t give up her life to please a man. She doesn’t chase a man. She won’t let a man think he has 100% hold on her. She isn’t swept away by romantic fantasy.

The woman I speak of has an ever-so-subtle strength She knows what she wants. She is like a steel magnolia, flowery (feminine) on the outside and secure and durable on the inside. And she will step up for herself when a man steps over the line.

I believe men love freedom and need a mental challenge. Typically, most men won’t say things like “Don’t be a doormat” or “Don’t revolve your whole world around me,” or “Don’t always say yes yes,” even though, deep down, they tend to resent latched-on women who are unable to say no to them.

In my opinion, therefore — even though they may not know it or admit to themselves — men love bitches because they’re independent, they know what they want and they can think on their own.

To me, a bitch is an empowered woman who derives tremendous strength from not thinking someone else’s thoughts. To me, a bitch has come to a self-knowledge of her own value. To me, a bitch is a woman who has a feeling of confidence and carries this magnetic quality within herself always.

Because of that, she is able to relate to any male on a whole new level.

I am a bitch. Won’t you join me?

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Comments on: "Why Men Love Bitches." (3)

  1. A life-time member of your club. Great write! hugs, pat

  2. Hi Char,

    What a great topic for discussion.

    I can’t speak for all men, but my experience (especially with my dh) has told me something like this:

    Men typically don’t want a woman who is needy and overly dependent (unless they have a complex around needed to be needed). Especially if they are introverts and need to be able to take the time and space away that they need.

    But being intimidating, or competing directly with the man of interest is typically a big turn off. Unless that’s part of the courtship game (if you are seeking a romantic relationship, for most men that means eventually lovingly and respectfully letting him win).

    That said…

    It is really hot when a woman is independent and empowered and she CHOOSES to be with a man. That’s absolutely the ideal.

    I find it wholly fulfilling to be the queen, ‘where the pants’ all day long at work, and then when it comes to my husband, allowing myself to be the moon to his sun, to be surrendered and devoted to him in a more stereotypical female but entirely pleasant and satisfying way.

    So what am I saying? I do temper my bitch-ness. And I don’t feel any lesser for it. Quite the opposite.

    Oops, my reply was a short essay.

    What do you think?

    • Sounds like you are being your true Self– switching from the woman , nuturing woman –that is what your man needs– being in the moment is what you are being — go girl , is what I say!!!

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